


downfall

by milaskordei



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-14 23:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7195793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milaskordei/pseuds/milaskordei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon does not love a man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	downfall

“Oh, come on. It’s _obvious_ he’s into you,” Izzy says this with ease, like she does everything else. Simon is very much not at ease.

Simon rolls his eyes, drying off a glass and setting it on the counter. “Yeah, just as obvious as it is that _Clary_ likes _you_.”

Izzy rolls her eyes. (They both roll their eyes way too much, and they both picked it up from the other. The cycle of hell.) “ _Clary_ doesn’t like me. _Raphael_ likes you. Hell, he _loves_ you.”

“Oh, sure, and my middle name is Roger.”

“It is?”

"No, Isabelle! My middle name is not Roger! And Raphael does not-” he remembers how public this restaurant is at that moment and lowers his voice, but it’s still just as venomous when he speaks again. “ _Like_ me. Or love me, or even not detest me.”

Izzy shrugs, in that irritating nonchalant Izzy way. Is she ever stressed? “Whatever. I guess you wouldn't like to hear what his business partner and best slash only friend has to say about the subject, then.”

"What?” Simon shrieks. Legitimately shrieks, and then everyone’s turning to look at him and all he does it mouth ‘sorry’ before turning back to Izzy, eyes wide, heart stopped. “What does Magnus have to say about… You know…. The _subject_?”

Izzy smirks.

She is rude, Simon thinks right then, in that moment.

 

 

 

“Come on, Iz!”

"Oh, but you don’t wanna hear,” says Izzy, and she _still_ has that smirk. Unbelievable.

He groans, and he feels entirely too much like a toddler having a temper tantrum. “Well… Now I wanna know!”

He’s whining. He’s fucking whining. Izzy will never let him live this down.

"Well, what if you change your mind _again_ and you don’t want to know again later? I’m just preparing for that.”

She is the devil, Simon thinks right then, in that moment.

 

 

 

"Simon? What are you doing here?” Simon slowly lifts his head up from the cold surface it was laying on (a table?) and blinks the sleep out of his eyes.

Then he recognizes the figure: Raphael. He bolts up, a head rush coming on as he stands up too quickly and too soon.

“Raphael!” he screeches, and then the room comes into focus. Desk covered in strewn about papers. Chair outstretched from the desk for sleeping leg room. One seemingly pissed off Raphael. “I- My apartment.. The utilities are off. So I… Slept. Here.”

Raphael furrows his eyebrows like he’s actually confused. By Simon sleeping here? Or by Simon being poor and currently kind of homeless and sleeping at his work desk?

“I’m poor,” Simon blurts out randomly during the long and cold Raphael-typical silence. What the holy hell was that? ‘I’m poor,’ Jesus Christ, why would he say that?

Raphael frowns. “Yeah.”

_Yeah_? Did Simon step into an alternate dimension where Raphael does not hate him and wish him dead? Because if so, wow, dreams really do come true.

It's always ‘yes’ with Raphael. ‘Yes,’ and ‘I am’ and ‘do not’ and he even says ‘mother’ while on the phone for God’s sake.

“ _Yeah_?” Simon asks.

“Yes,” says Raphael, narrowing his eyes and looking at Simon steely. “You shouldn’t be sleeping at your desk. It’s unhealthy, and chiropractors are not cheap.”

And back to the sad, boring, contraction-less life Simon is so used to.

"You can sleep in my guest room,” Raphael says, like this is the simplest thing in the world. Simon’s eyes go wide and he’s sure he looks exactly like a deer in the headlights of someone’s car. Raphael seems like the type to run over a dumb deer in the middle of the road. Probably. Because he hates happiness, apparently. Or maybe he doesn’t, since he’s offering Simon a place to sleep.

Maybe it’s just so his assistant isn’t rendered useless from bad short sleeps. But Simon can’t help the butterflies that fizz in his stomach at the _idea_ that maybe Raphael cares about his well being, just a little.

It’s sad that Simon would accept the least from Raphael, he knows this, but when it’s Raphael it doesn't feel like the least. The small things about Raphael seem like very, very big things.

Maybe it’s because _Raphael_ is a very, very big thing to him. Yeah, Simon is probably of little importance to Raphael. But he can’t help but feel like he’d be content with being just a star in the cosmos that is Raphael.

Raphael is the universe, and Simon wholly does not expect to be Raphael’s earth. (He’s not. He is the sun.)

Simon had heard it all before: man shall not lay with man. Man shall not love man. Well, that’s fine, Simon thinks, because he does not love a man. He does not love a woman, but he does not love a man. (Raphael isn’t a man. Raphael is a supernova. And Simon does not fear being consumed by him.)

'Hell will greet the sinners.’

Simon is fine with this.

Simon thinks he would be fine with burning a thousand years for Raphael.

Raphael Santiago will be his downfall. And he could not think of a better way to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> for trisha, happy birthday my dear. i hope this made you smile. or cry. either would make me happy! i love you.


End file.
